Tips on how to spot a toxic man
You have probably heard a friend or someone you know refer to someone else as ‘toxic’. But what defines a toxic person and what are some of the traits of a toxic personality?
A toxic person is someone whose actions bring you down and upsets you. Often times they exhibit toxic characteristics like being too controlling, are easily jealous, sometimes overly defensive, they will guilt-trip you and most times you will be left feeling emotionally drained after meeting them.
People that are toxic are frequently dealing with their own stress and traumas. To do so, they act in ways that do not reflect well on them and frequently cause others to be angry.
Being in a relationship with a toxic man can be emotionally exhausting. Often times, toxic men only reveal their true colours once you have invested emotionally in them.
To protect yourself against such toxicity, you must be able to control your emotions and recognise the warning signs when they appear. We share some tips on how to know a man is toxic.
Unable to see things from your perspective
He says or does things that make you upset emotionally. When you try to express your feelings to him, you are likely met with a blank stare or irritation. He isn’t able to perceive things from your point of view. He isn’t capable of comprehending how his actions affect on you either positively or negatively.
This is the type of man who tells you, “I’m not responsible for your feelings.” He wants you to forgive him if he cheats on you. He accuses you of being uptight and controlling if he fails to show up for a scheduled date.
The ultimate hypocrite
“Do as I say, not as I do,” he says, implying that he has very high standards on fidelity, respect and adoration. He will not return any of this to you after the idealisation process. He’ll lie, cheat, criticise and manipulate you. However, to him, you must remain flawless; else, you will be replaced and deemed unstable emotionally.
Pathological liar
He’ll have a falsehood ready to tell you before you even ask him a question regarding a subject or scenario. He also exhibits regret or embarrassment when found lying. He simply wants to get out of the original deception. His entire existence is a lie, as are his affections for you.
He focuses on your mistakes but ignores his own
This guy expects you to be flawless and to see him as flawless despite his poor behaviour. Every single one of your faults will be pointed out to you. He will expect you to be sorry and make the necessary changes. On the other hand, he can’t go wrong, and you should remember that.
Assigns false emotions to you
He will ignore your actual feelings and assign you feelings that closely resemble his own. This was dubbed “projection” by psychologists and psychiatrists. Projection is a psychological protection technique in which he attaches to another person… you, qualities that he finds unacceptable in himself.
